An infidelity friend asks,
“I discovered my partner of 5 years had been having a bisexual affair with another woman for the past year, the same woman she was living with prior to us meeting. For the past year, she’s been having an affair with her with the intentions of leaving me and now she’s uncertain as to what to do. Do they have a future together? Does my partner feel any remorse? She’s apologized but does it mean she’s truly remorseful?
What she is apologizing for, is what’s important here.
Is she apologizing for having the affair, or is she apologizing because she hates what she’s done, knows it was wrong and selfish, feels very remorseful, loves you and only you, is prepared to sever and have no contact with the other woman (OW), is prepared to be transparent in all dealings, phone calls, statements etc., and wants to have a loving future with you?
If she’s in a state of uncertainty about staying or leaving, then she may not be so remorseful. Whatever reasons she may have for her indiscretions, none of them are valid here; she took the OW out for a lavish test drive while you were tending the goats. She had the option to engage her brain to open her mouth and discuss her feelings of wanton desires with you, before committing infidelity, and chose not to. If she chooses to stay, and you decide to reconcile, follow the guidelines above.