An infidelity friend asks,
“My husband and I have been getting along better since his infidelity. We communicate more, he allows me to see his phone, and I have his password to his email. But I’m still having a hard time because I have no answers from the questions I asked. I just want my answers so we can fully move on. We’re not fighting like we use to, but I’d like to know Addy, can one ever move past it and reconcile without your questions being answered?”
Reconciling is difficult at best, but when a cheating spouse refuses to answer questions, it makes it nearly impossible, unless of course, you’re a block of ice.
A cheating spouse who will not divulge details, feigns memory loss, or is unwilling to answer your questions, is protecting himself and the affair partner, and has not come clean with you. In worse situations, they may be protecting others like friends, or acquaintances you may know, who either knew about the affair, assisted in it, or were actually involved in it.
Not knowing can fester, and like an unattended wound, it oozes and matures into an infection. When we don’t know the details, they haunt us, and in a state of grief, we embellish them beyond reality; causing irreparable damage, and an impasse to rebuilding. Until you have those answers, you won’t be able to close that door and move forward in peace.
Details are everything, and knowledge is power, and it gives you the full monty, allowing you to make an informed decision. Denying you this information, renders you powerless and keeps you in a state of betrayal. It’s time to reclaim your power.
I wish you well.