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A dating & relationships friend asks,

“I’ve met someone and had that instant chemistry, so much so that I felt scared. The moment we met, I felt drawn in and instantly connected. But I’m scared that it’s too good to be true, that something might happen and I’ll be hurt and abandoned again. Sounds a little crazy, but I feel like this man and I are meant to be together, am I stupid to feel this way?

Anything with a fast start burns out eventually.

Chemistry between two people generally happens when you have come from similar backgrounds, feel immediately comfortable with one another, the conversation flows without stops, you enjoy their company because you have so much in common, and look forward to the next meeting with excitement because the more time you spend, the stronger this chemistry grows.

What you are describing is a physical infatuation. It can be compared to meeting someone you idolize, and who for some reason, finds you as interesting and attractive as you do them. You are physically stimulated by them to a point where you can’t understand your strong feelings, yet give in to them freely without question, well knowing that something isn’t quite right because it’s happening so fast, but feels too good to stop. Only every ride comes to a full stop at some point. When you reflect back, you realize it was too good to last.

Relationships of this sort are often wrought with highs and lows, just like a rollercoaster ride, and can have an addictive quality to those who parlay. Ride them often enough and the addiction drives you to believe it’s a necessary ingredient for a close and intimate relationship.

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