A dating and relationships friend asks,
“My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me last night. We’ve had a wonderful relationship, however, his buddies were never very nice to me. They’re a bunch of losers who drink non stop and get up to no good. They all have potty mouths and none of them have a serious girlfriend. I’ve voiced how I feel about them to him and he doesn’t see anything wrong with them.
We have spoken about marriage and he’s been keen on the idea of getting married in a year or two’s time. However, we had a fight last week about his friends keeping him out at all hours. When I asked him where they went, he admitted to going to a strip club but wouldn’t give details as to why he was out till five in the morning.
He tells me that his friends say he’s changed a lot since I’ve met him and they don’t like what they see. They couldn’t give him a particular reason, just that it’s a change they don’t like. So after thinking long and hard about it, he tells me that we need to break up.
I am heartbroken and don’t know what to do. I thought he was the one, and I thought that with time, he’d tire of his friends, mature a little, and want to spend more time together, instead of always looking to hook up with them. Why would someone who says they love you so much, turn their back on you like this?”
We are judged by the company we keep. If you think his friends are trashy…
That should answer some of your questions as to why he’d do this. He’s obviously not who you thought he was. He’s not an individual, he needs his friends to make him feel whole. They’ve formed a pack, and the pack decides who he can and cannot engage with. They’re little boys playing in their tree house.
Be grateful that he’s shown you his true colors, and has spared you a lifetime of nonsense and aggravation.